10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told – for the Joke of the Day

10-funniest-jokes-ever-told

Your everyday Joke of the Day has some competition!

International researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes (from across the world wide web) and narrowed them down to a list of 50, and then 36,000 people voted.

We love the Joke of the Day and organizations that use the Joke of the Day as a way to create a humor culture, so here are the top 10 funniest jokes ever told that you can use for your Joke of the Day!

10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told – for the Joke of the Day

  1. (This was ranked #1): A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
  2. I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
  3. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.
  4. Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked.  “It’s not unusual” he replied.
  5. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  6. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
  7. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
  8. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “because,” he said “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
  9. I was in Tesco’s and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, “Are you two an item?”
  10. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

If you want to see the full list of the 50 funniest jokes ever told, check it out here. If you would like more tips and tricks on how to bring clean humor into your workplace, contact us to setup a free Humor Strategy Call.

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80 thoughts on “10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told – for the Joke of the Day”

  1. MOM” What did you do in school today?”
    KID”We played a guessing game!”
    MOM”I thought you had a math test?”
    KID”That is what the teacher called it too!”

    Pissed teacher”At the end of a this ruler is an idiot!’
    Student”Which end??”

  2. You walk into the house a kid was playing with the elctricity and now it is off. There are 4 doors one with lazers, one with a hungry tiger one with goo that will disinigrate you and the last one has deadly spikes which do you go through?

    Answer: The lazers ’cause the power is off:-) duh

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