10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told – for the Joke of the Day

10-funniest-jokes-ever-told

Your everyday Joke of the Day has some competition!

International researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes (from across the world wide web) and narrowed them down to a list of 50, and then 36,000 people voted.

We love the Joke of the Day and organizations that use the Joke of the Day as a way to create a humor culture, so here are the top 10 funniest jokes ever told that you can use for your Joke of the Day!

10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told – for the Joke of the Day

  1. (This was ranked #1): A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
  2. I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
  3. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.
  4. Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked.  “It’s not unusual” he replied.
  5. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  6. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
  7. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
  8. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “because,” he said “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
  9. I was in Tesco’s and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, “Are you two an item?”
  10. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

If you want to see the full list of the 50 funniest jokes ever told, check it out here. If you would like more tips and tricks on how to bring clean humor into your workplace, contact us to setup a free Humor Strategy Call.

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11 thoughts on “10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told – for the Joke of the Day”

  1. Original joke:
    Why does the Chicago police have a checkered band on their hats……
    It’s to commemorate the checkered past they have had with the mobsters and the gangsters…. hahaha

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