life

By on March 29, 2011 in Quick Wisdom

I recently came across an old picture of me in my North Sycamore baseball uniform and it reminded me of the years I spent playing baseball. I wasn’t bad, but also not that good. It’s hard to do well in baseball when you’re scared of the ball whenever you go to bat.

As I think about it more, the term “home” (as in homeplate) is quite a fitting analogy for life and how we can become at “home” with ourselves.

When you stand at home to bat (or “live” in this metaphor), you’ll have people who are there to help you (base coaches), people who may distract you (the catcher), authority figures (umpires) and casual observers (fans). But most importantly, you’ll also have someone hurling opportunities at you. Fast, frightening opportunities. And while those opportunities may be scary, and there is a chance some will hurt, they’re also something for you to take advantage of.

Not every opportunity is right for you (it may be out of the strikezone). You don’t have to hit a homerun with every single one–a single or double is great. And even if you don’t get a hit at every at-bat, you know that more opportunities will come–either in the same at-bat or on another day.

And if you fail? Don’t worry, it’s par for the course. Heck, if you’re able to take advantage of even one out of four of your at-bats in life you can be in the Major Leagues.

Now here’s the scariest part. In order to really succeed, every now and then, you have to leave home. You have to go on a journey around the diamond. But the good news is that you’ll back, and when you return safe at home, you’ll be better than when you left.

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By on November 22, 2010 in Learn with Humor

The following story is a break from the normal posts on the site, but one I thought I’d share.  I wrote it to be included with HR Ringleader’s Game Changing Moments and thought it might be of interest to some people who are curious about how a computer engineer found and started using humor.

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8th Floor Improv

The day started like any other day of my sophomore year at The Ohio State University. I woke up at 10am after hitting the snooze button 2 or 300 times, went to my engineering classes after eating a champion’s breakfast of S’mores Pop Tarts and Dr. Pepper, and then went to study for my major at the time: Halo (the videogame, not the yet-to-be-released Beyonce song or the hat angels wear).

As we entered our third or fourth 3-hour game of Capture The Flag against opponents down the hall, my best friend, Nate (and incidentally the only person that could consistently beat me at Halo), said something that would change my life.  Of course I didn’t know this at the time, it just seemed like something to talk about while we beat the pants off Nate’s residents (did I mention we were both Resident Advisors?).

Nate was (and still is, but we’ll keep things in the past tense for the sake of continuity) a stark contrast to me, and that’s probably why we’ve gotten along so well since we first met in the seventh grade back in Cincinnati. He was a Psychology major, I was a Computer Science & Engineering major with a minor in Business. I took four years to finish a typical five year program, he took five years to finish a typical four year program. He was naturally charismatic and when he spoke, he got people’s attention. I was naturally awkward and when I spoke, I got pained looks from the people listening. I was white, he was black.

But the biggest contrast was that he usually said the funny things, I usually said the smart things. He’d make people laugh, I’d make people think. Of course there were times where one of us would occasionally steal the other person’s thunder; I was occasionally funny and he was occasionally brilliant.

On this day, he was occasionally brilliant.

With the score 2-0 in favor of the good guys, we were resting pretty easily as we continued to “lay the smack down” on the freshmen down the hall. The four of us in the room (two other friends, Chris and Moran, whose lives also changed that day and the other 2 people on our 4-person team), were joking around as we normally did. Chris and Moran were opposites just as Nate and I were. Chris was a large, brooding white man. Moran was a skinny, hilarious black man. Moran could talk his way out of just about any situation even if he had no idea what he was talking about. Chris could barely talk his way into any situation, even if he knew exactly what he was talking about. Chris was an incredibly intelligent person trapped in an awkward socializer’s body. Moran was a incredibly funny person existing in a ball of fun.

With a click of Moran’s trigger and a toss of Chris’s grenade, we won the game. Moran sniped any defense the other team put up and Chris flipped the jeep foolishly trying to escape with our flag, and I escorted Nate and the other team’s flag back to our base for the final point.  We celebrated, we laughed, we mocked our inferior opponents (in a sportmanslike, definitely-appropriate-for-being-their-RA’s manner.

And then it came. As the laughter died down and the four of us sat in the tiny dorm room given to RA’s, narrow enough to touch both walls at the same time, Nate said the
words that would change our lives.

“We should start our own improv group.”

Disappointed? Surprised? Expecting something profound and quote-worthy? The sentence itself was nothing profound but the concept, and what would happen as a result, was.

Prior to this sentence, I was on a path to computer stardom.  Until this point, I had never done anything theater related and was always the nerd in school. I graduated in the top 1% of my high school class, got a full scholarship to attend Ohio State and was working towards those engineering and business degrees so I could become the next Bill Gates (or at least an entrepreneur or corporate executive working in the tech field). That sentenced changed that, but like I said, we had no idea at the time. We had no clue what we were getting into, we just said, “Yes.”

To fill in some much needed detail, Nate had done some theater work back in high school, and as part of his classes, he did improvisation–exercises based on making things up in the moment. At Ohio State, he found a college group that did improv shows. He joined the already hilarious cast and had some very funny shows with the group.

Our sophomore year, Chris and I auditioned for the group. Chris got in based on his far too vast referential knowledge, and I did not (I do want to point that I was invited to callbacks but had to miss due to my responsibilities as an RA, and that’s the reason I didn’t make it. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself).

While Nate and Chris enjoyed performing in the group, they realized something was lacking, something could be better. The group, funny as they were, only met a few times a month and only averaged a show once a quarter. What was missing was more–more practice, more performances, more time doing this thing called improv.

Nate came up with the idea that we could start our own improv group. We, with the collective experience of about one year of improv (Nate’s year plus a quarter’s worth from Chris; Moran and I had no improv experience), decided that day to say “Yes.”  We summoned the help of two other friends (neither with improv experience) and started practicing in the basement of the residence hall where I was an RA.

Two and a half years and countless hours of unguided practices and some good and some not-so-good shows later, the group was celebrating their 50th Show in front of a 200+ person crowd at a theater off-campus. The original founders graduated and left the group in the hands of the very capable members left in the group. Each year new members come in as old members graduate, and The 8th Floor Improv Comedy Group still exists today, performing sold-out shows every month. They’ve been featured on-screen in-front of the 100,000 fans at Ohio Stadium during Buckeye games and perform to thousands of incoming freshmen at orientation.

As for us, Nate moved on to Chicago where he took classes at iO and Second City and is now a house player at iO and working in various shows at Second City. Chris stayed
in Columbus, started his own graphic design company and continues to improvise throughout the city. Moran moved to Chicago, is engaged with a child (he’s not engaged to a child, he’s an engaged to a wonderful woman and has a child) and taking improv classes when his family-life allows.

And me, I’m living in NYC working for a Fortune 20 Company as a Project Manager and self-proclaimed Corporate Humorist. I’m taking classes at The Magnet and Upright Citizens Brigade performing improv and stand-up across the city, and blogging/consulting/training on humor through my company, Humor That Works.

And all of it is a result of a simple, non-poetic, sentence from a best friend my sophomore year of college.

“We should start our own improv group.”

5 of the 6 founders, 2007. L->R Moran, Chris, Nate, Damon, Drew

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By on October 12, 2010 in Quick Wisdom

As a comedian, specificity of language is very important.  Changing one word can turn a joke from “sorta funny” to hilarious.  But words also express their intent, which is why I’ve recently realized how little I like the phrase “work/life balance.”  It suggests two things:

  1. Work is more important than life (it comes first), and
  2. One of the two is bad (you “balance the good with the bad”).

Some companies have tried to address #2 by calling it work/life effectiveness, but work is still first and effectiveness implies an emphasis on productivity, which is fine for my work but not the first word I want to use to describe my life (the word “fun” comes to mind).  So what do I suggest?

Life/Work Synergy

Wait, really?  Yes.  ”Synergy” may be a buzzword, and the phrase may sound “new agey,” but it works–it’s specific and speaks to what I want between my life and work.  I want my life and work to come together to produce something greater than the sum of their individual parts.  I want the work I do to be something that excites me and I want to do in it a way that not only enables my personal life, but also enhances it.  We spend 25% of our adult life (before retirement) working; I don’t want that 25% to just be a day-job.

I understand simply changing the phrase “work/life balance” to “life/work synergy” won’t magically make anyone’s situation what they want it to be, but thinking in that context will help.  Once you start looking for ways life and work can build on one another (instead of just looking for how to balance the two), you’ll find creative solutions to improve your circumstances.  And if an entire organization did that?  Well, I think we’d be on to something.

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By on September 13, 2010 in Learn with Humor

I recently read a fun article, titled Mentor or Mentos: A Comparison, that talked about some of the differences between Mentors (the guiding person) and Mentos (the candy).  As I thought (and researched) more about it, I realized the two m-e-n-t-o words have more in common than you might think.

But first, here’s a classic Mentos commercial to get us started.  (Seriously you should watch it, not just to put a smile on your face but also so you understand some of my references below.)

For more of the best Mentos commercials, check out the Top 10 Classic Mentos Commercials.

The Name

This one is obvious (for English speakers), the words “Mentos” and “Mentors” are just one letter off.  The word Mentor has been around longer–it was the name of a character in Homer’s Odyssey, though the modern definition stems from a book from 1699;  Mentos were first introduced in the 1950′s in the Netherlands.

The Product

Mentos are described as “small oblate spheroids, with a slightly hard exterior and a soft, chewy interior.”  The best mentors are the same way (ignoring the spheroids-shape thing): they have a slightly hard exterior (meaning they won’t be afraid to give you constructive criticism) and a soft interior (ultimately they want you to succeed).  If your mentor doesn’t call out what you’ve done wrong or what you could do better, it’s like have Gummi bears instead of Mentos–sure their nice to have, but they’re not going to help you fix a suit you just got paint on.

The (Known) Benefit

If the Mentos jingle is to be believed, and I think we can all agree it can be, then “(Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, do-Wah!) It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, and Mentos is fresh and full of life.”  As with Mentos, if you have a mentor, it doesn’t matter what comes because, between you and your mentor, you’ll be able to figure it out.  Nothing will get to you because you’ll stay fresh with new ideas from someone else who is experienced and can provide an outside perspective, and you’ll be cool with the confidence knowing that someone who is doing (or has done) what you ultimately want to do has your back.

The (Secret) Benefit

Most people know the main benefit of Mentos–they’re enjoyable candies you can snack on (and they can help you solve everyday problems).  Most people know the main benefit of Mentors–they’re enjoyable people that help propel your career with expert guidance and perspective from years of experience (and they can help you solve everyday problems).  But an additional secret benefit has recently come up for Mentos and Mentors.  For Mentos, it’s the amazing ability they have to turn Diet Coke into an awesome geyser.  For Mentors, it’s the amazing ability to turn a mentor into a more knowledgeable, connected leader.  The term is called “reverse mentoring” and it’s the insight and perspective a more experienced person can learn from a newer person in the workplace.  Sure, watching an exploding geyser of Diet Coke is more fun than witnessing reverse mentoring, but it’s probably not as valuable to your organization (probably).

Sources:

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Your First Kiss

June 29, 2010

Do you remember your first kiss?  The excitement. The nervousness.  The curiosity.  All of it leading up to a pivotal moment in your life.  Those types of moments are hard to forget. That’s how you should feel whenever you start something new, whether it’s a project, job or relationship.  Those “firsts” should be memorable because [...]

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Hospital Humor… An Interview with Sally Franz

June 24, 2010

What would you do if you suddenly became paralyzed from the waist down?  Well, if you’re Sally Franz, you write a book about the experience.  I sat down with the Scrambled Leggs author to talk to her about her book and how she uses humor as means to an end.  What end?  Listen and find [...]

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Hospital Humor from Scrambled Leggs

June 24, 2010

Note: This is the transcription of an interview with Scrambled Leggs author, Sally Franz.  The interview has been edited for clarity and ease of reading.  For the audio of the interview, check out Hospital Humor, an Interview with Sally Franz. Welcome everyone to today’s episode of Humor Talks, where I talk with some of the thought [...]

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Humor Lessons from Scrambled Leggs

June 8, 2010

Humor has many benefits–it can bring you closer to another person,  ease the tension in a room and help you deal with difficult circumstances, like becoming paralyzed.  Such is the tale in Sally Franz’s Scrambled Leggs: A Snarky Tale of Hospital Hooey, a book about laughter, pain, and everything in between. In the eBook, Sally tells [...]

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5 Benefits of Vacation

April 23, 2010

A reader over at Ask a Manager posted a question asking how to take a vacation when there’s always work to be done, and Allison gave a great answer about establishing criteria for being able to leave and mentioning that vacation time for employees is good for both the company and the worker.   I [...]

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Optimists Live Longer

March 16, 2010

A recent study shows that being optimistic may lead to living longer.   In a study of 100,000 women, those rated optimistic were 14% less likely to die than pessimists during the study’s first eight years. Why do optimists live longer?  The science doesn’t quite tell us but one theory presented is that “Optimists have strong social [...]

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