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10 Great George Carlin Quotes

by Drew on October 15, 2009 in Learn with Humor

George Carlin was one of the best comedians of our time.  In between his bits that made some people cringe at his use of language, he educated a world of people with insight and wisdom in a colorful way.  His “Modern Man” routine is the greatest bit on wordplay I’ve ever seen:

Here are 10 Great George Carlin Quotes to get inspired:

  1. “Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.”
  2. “Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?”
  3. “I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”
  4. “‘One thing leads to another?’ Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.”
  5. “Property is theft. Nobody ‘owns’ anything. When you die, it all stays here.”
  6. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
  7. “Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
  8. “Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”
  9. “Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
  10. “The status quo sucks.”

For even more great quotes, check out 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes.

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10 Great Bill Cosby Quotes

by Drew on August 31, 2009 in Learn with Humor

Bill Cosby is one of the great comedians of our time and has passed down some great wisdom over the years.  Any time I have to go to the dentist, I think of his legendary take on the experience:

Here are 10 Great Bill Cosby Quotes, the sit-down comic himself:

  1. “A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.”
  2. “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
  3. “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
  4. “People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.”
  5. “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
  6. “The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.”
  7. “The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.”
  8. “There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.”
  9. “Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.”
  10. “Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.”

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