Job Descriptions: Easy and Hard Versions

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A redditor asked an interesting question: Explain your job in two ways: first making it sound as complicated/hard possible, second as easy/simple.

Here are some of the best descriptions:

zylphite:

Hard: I oversee the process of colliding quadrillions of subatomic particles into other atoms in a precisely controlled fashion in order to generate a self-sustaining chain-reaction, which generates heat in the form of kinetic energy.

Easy: I boil water by hitting really small things with other really small things.

BrainyChipmunk:

Hard: I’m assessing the effects of ethanol on cognitive tasks including episodic-like memory and neurophysiological markers such as synchronous local field potential oscillations.

Easy: I get rats drunk.

 ihaveamastersdegree:

Hard: I creatively detail life experiences targeting senior management of underfunded corporations.

Easy: I am unsuccessfully searching for work.

pineapple2048:

Hard: I am involved in a multi-disciplinary work environment. I work nine hours a day, with my tasks shifting depending on what is expected of me at the given hour. I am allowed very little say in what goes on, and am expected to follow the word of my superiors to the letter.

Easy: I’m in high school.

zildjian3:

Hard: I regularly heat up muscle to around 400 degrees Fahrenheit until the Maillard reaction occurs in which the denatured proteins on the surface of the meat recombine with the sugars present.

Easy: I’m a line cook.

sw2de3fr4gt:

Hard: I have to read my boss’s mind.

Easy: I make marketing material.

Ganzer6:

Hard: Hydro-ceramic engineer

Easy: Dish washer

TheShaker:

Hard: I’m a doctor

Easy: Of philosophy.

 

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